andrewnicol.net

Empty | Winter Blues

Met, know and have heard of bundles of people, lately who are not themselves. Thy feel flat, down and maybe a little bit empty. Much of it I’m sure is the winter blues.
 
Well, if you are one of those people I have a solution. At this time of year the playgrounds are practically empty. No kids, particularly during the day.
 
So head down to the park, why not take a friend. Then forget that you’re meant to ‘behave’ like a grown up and jump on a swing.
 
Swing.
 
Breathe.
 
Smile.
 
Laugh.  
 
It will be the wackiest thing you have done in ages, but I guarantee some of the winter emptiness will disappear.

329|365 Colours

Picture a day without colour
No colour in buildings or things we wear
No colour in paint for art to smear
No colour in the sun or sky above
No colour in stuff we love
Picture a day without colour
And rejoice that today
However grey
Is filled with colour!

[329|365 – I love how colourful schools have become]

298 | 365 The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago

An old chinese proverb says “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The next best time is now”. Case in point, the tree that Kyla is climbing is 11 years old and would be unclimbable if it was two. But I think that this proverb has implications to more than just trees. The best time to do a lot of things was in the past ... the next best time is now.

The best time to get healthy was in the past ... the next best time is now.

The best time to reconcile with someone was in the past ... the next best time is now.

The best time to input into your kids lives was in the past ... the next best time is now.

You get the idea.

296 |365 Twenty-One

It’s Stass’ birthday today. Happy birthday!!
 
She’s twenty-one! Not twenty-one again, but twenty-one for the first and only time. How cool is that!
 
My dilemma with people turning twenty-one is that I can remember what I was doing in 1989 and it confirms that my life is extinguishing, in a positive way, at a rate that is more rapid than I originally thought. It’s positive because each day I get to learn, to love and quite possibly even grow in wisdom.
 
So with all this newfound wisdom that in reality comes from a deep pool of craziness, I offer this thought to Stass or anyone else that would care to listen (not than any of you asked). Here it is:
 
You never get yesterday back. Each day we have a choice to either consume or invest our time. Sadly if we don’t choose to invest time, it will get consumed.

286 |365 An hour out

This will sound weird to some people but last week I planned to take an hour out. A full hour with no note book or cellphone or laptop, so while I was in Tauranga headed to Leisure Island (which because of the high tide was actually an island).
 
Took time to watch and breath and think. Was amazed by the rip the surfers were catching out to the wave break that moved fasted than I walked. Then further amazed by the guy, pictured here, who climbed out on the rocks with his board, waited for a big wave and jumped in.
 
An hour out, no people, no connection, just me and my thoughts. If you’re super busy, give it a try.

282 | 365 Meals

I think having meals together in each other’s homes is dramatically undervalued. Over the years I have come to love having people at our place for meals. Don’t get me wrong, I love going out for dinner, but at home we, our guests included, tend to relax more, talk more openly, and be more authentic.
 
Had Francis and Delwyn for dinner. They are an awesome couple we are blessed to call friends.

275 |365 - Confidence

Took J to his first school disco. He was eally shy and he reminded me of me. It was really interesting to watch him slowly build in confidence over the course of the night.

I was thinking about how confidence often comes from experience. The more you do something, the more you push into areas that are hard, the better you get at things.

I would describe myself as a very shy person, socially at least. Over the years I have pushed myself to meet new people, to ask questions and as time has gone on I built in confidence.

Realised that I will need to teach J some of these skills as it took me way to long to discover them.

260 |365 A New Day

Not every sunrise will be as beautiful as this one.
 
Not every day will be the best day of your life.
 
But today is a new day.
 
Seize it!
 
Make the change you have always wanted to make, even if it’s only for today. And if you fail… tomorrow is a new day again and you can give it another go.
 
May your day today be beautiful and full and alive.

259 | 365 Wiping Out

Sometimes in life we see opportunity coming like a wave of success. Like surfing we seize the moment, drop-in and catch the wave. We are stoked because the ride is exhilarating and for that moment we feel like we have found our sweet spot.
 
Without warning, the wave changes and we wipeout as it all comes crashing down around us.
 
Then we have two options. Give up and become a spectator, or head back out for another attempt. Catching another wave will take effort, time and patience. Like most things there will be an element of being in the right place at the right time.
 
But at least you will again get to enjoy a few moments of exhilaration that those who merely watch from pier will never experience.

235 | 365 Play the Movie

Today, Talia decided to make a movie. A movie in which she was the writer, the director and the only star.
 
If your life were a movie, what would be the story line? How would the movie end? Would it be an epic story that people remember? Would your movie be an adventure, a love story, or a tale of overcoming the impossible?
 
Like me, your life isn’t likely to become a movie.
 
But we are still the writer, director and star of our movie, of our life. As individuals we choose to live a memorable story of adventure, love and triumph.
 
Or not.

234 |365 Partial Reflections

Our lives are all partial reflections of others.
 
We all in someway reflect the people and events that have had an impression on us.
 
In some cases, repulsive and negative things done may be reflected in us. Things we would rather forget and wish they had never happened.
 
For the most part we reflect the good people in our lives. They may be parents or teachers or colleagues or friends or Jesus, and regardless of how independent we think we are, we are all small reflections of them.
 
So if my life is a partial reflection of others, how will I ensure that their reflection of me is a blessing, vivid and good?

230 |365 Measuring Time

Moses once wrote ‘Teach us to number our days so that we may present to you a heart of wisdom’.
 
It’s almost as if he is saying we need to measure our time. Nowadays we measure almost everything, our bank balance, our speed, our weight, or our kids performance.
 
Yet we don’t measure our time to see if we are using it well. We rarely look back and make sure we are making the most of time.
 
At the moment, indirectly through 365, I am measuring time. It has been around 60% of the year since I began the 365 project. That’s 230 days or close to 20 million seconds.
 
Seeing how fast time is going, seeing pictures from 2 months ago, that feel like yesterday is really scary.

And a good reminder!

229 |365 Long Drive

Tonight I took the long way home. When it’s busy it still takes 2 – 3 minutes longer, but the drive is relaxing, the traffic is generally light and my competitive nature doesn’t have to come out.

When I take the short way at peak times, the traffic is bumper to bumper. 2-3 minutes shorter and not at all relaxing.

Tonight, taking the long way, I stopped and took this photo of the sun setting across the farm land. I wouldn’t have stopped in heavy traffic. I would have missed the moment, and I actually got a small kick out of seeing the sun set and know the day was ending.

I remind myself, that sometimes in my rush and competitiveness I miss small things.

Beautiful things.

One of a kind things.

All for the sake of a couple of minutes.

221 |365 Head First

This is not the worlds must technically correct forward roll.

But when you are having fun and you throw yourself headfirst into adventure, being technically correct is completely irrelevant!

218 |365 Murkiness

It seemed that the sun rose late, and was cloaked behind the fog that had lowered amongst the autumn leaves.

As it lifted later that morning, it unveiled an amazing autumn day.

Sometimes in life, amazing things, beautiful things are cloaked by the murkiness of life.

214|365 My 40th

An awesome 40th birthday with my wife and kids.

Up at 5am for the ANZAC day dawn parade. It was a still misty poignant setting and a reminder that “freedom is never free”. Someone must always pay the price for freedom.

In the evening we headed out to Raglan to watch the sun set on the west coast of NZ, and eat fish and chips. A beautiful evening.

A fantastic day. (Even if I am now in my mid life)

209|365 Leaving my mark

My signatures are funny things. For instance I have four scribbles I call a signature. I have my initials scribble, my ‘Andrew’ scribble, my general letter scribble and my bank scribble. The picture scribble is none of the above, but they are all different, all unreadable, but all my mark.
 
The use of signatures date back thousands of years. They are my mark, a thing that identifies me. In the flick of a pen I acknowledge my agreement, my commitment, my obligation.
 
Today, I was thinking as I signed a new large contract we won recently, how most people sign very few things. Signing letters has been replaced with email, or txt, or verbal. Signing cheques replaced with pin numbers and credit cards.
 
Personally, when I sign a document, I make sure I am comfortable with my obligations and commitment, because it is ‘in writing’.
 
Yet my verbal commitment should always be just as strong as my signed commitment. My word should carry the same weight as my mark.

206|365 Sports Star

A bunch of fans crowd behind the tent of the Castrol Edge race team. Amongst them, this fan, with a poster at the ready, eagerly awaits for the autograph of Greg Murphy, an iconic New Zealand sportsman.
 
Greg is a New Zealand V8 supercar sports star. He is a star because drives really fast cars. He is a star because he bets Australians. He is a star because handles the public and media really well. He is a star because he wins.
 
Gregs stardom came purely through hard work, focus, practice, lots of losses and a few wins (comparatively).
 
We can all be stars, maybe not iconic ones, but certainly in the life of people around us.
 
We also become stars through hard work, focus, practice, lots of losses and a few wins.

205 | 365 Good Communication

It was 11:30am, and with my entourage in tow, we stepped into a meeting with one of our largest clients only to be told we were expected at 10:00am. I explained that we were on time and I had checked his email the day before. But he was adamant we were late.
 
So a choice, prove I was right or apologise?
 
I apologised for being late.
 
Why? Because the relationship is far more important than being right.
 
On the way home I saw this cell-tower and I thought about communication. Communication is more than listening and talking. Good communication requires give and take, empathy and forgiveness, honesty and discretion.
 
When we communicate well, we realise the relationships are our highest priority.

202 | 365 Bachelor

Our house became progressively emptier over the last week. One of the kids headed to the grandparents last Wednesday, then the other two on Friday. On Monday Karina headed over to Tauranga for the night.
 
As the house emptied, the life of the house left. It was as though I had become a bachelor again. The life of the house is family. A family like most others, with conversation and laughter and arguments and squabbles and noise and homeliness.
 
As it emptied the home just became a house. A shelter. A place to rest.
 
Silence.
 
Late last night, everyone arrived home. Noise, buzz, stories, laughter and love.
 
Its home again!
 
 
 
[202 | 365 – ‘Bachelor’ - Being the bachelor that I now was, last night I cooked up a storm]

198 | 365 Behind these doors

Behind these doors are warmth and shelter

Behind these doors are comfort and empathy

Behind these doors are amusement and joy

Behind these doors is home

Behind these doors is love

197 | 365 BMZ X1 Launch

We had a BMW X1 launch in the vacant lot across from us, and they set up a huge tent and Pumice catered it.
 
The next morning I wandered over and looked at the new car. It reminded me about needs and wants. I neither need nor want a BMW X1. Some people will even think they NEED an X1.
 
It’s interesting how our needs change the more money we have. A person living without clean water, probably sits in the 92% of the world that don’t have a car at all, let alone need one. Their needs are a lot more basic.
 
A solo mum in NZ, needs a cheap but reliable car. A businessman like me who travels a lot needs a safe comfortable car. A richer person with cash to spare needs a BMW X1 to enable their status.
 
What I NEED is more what I want, and is not a need at all.
 
Need is a word we use often.
 
A word we over use.
 
‘I need this’ usually means ‘I want this’. Not the other way round.

194 | 365 Changing Conditions

On Sunday, conditions at the beach were gentle. It was low tide, with a light swell and small waves. There was plenty of room to make sand castles and bury kids in holes.
 
The next day it was high tide with a sizeable swell and the waves were crashing hard and sliding all the way up the beach to the sand dunes. There was no room to play or anywhere to relax.
 
I pondered how life can be like this. One day its gentle, plenty of room to play and relax, then suddenly, overnight it can change and things feel like that are crashing down around us, with no room for movement.
 
What surprises me the most, is when I have calm periods I forget that they don’t last forever, or when I have heavy crashing periods I forget calmer times will come.
 
Yesterdays conditions, like the surf , may be a completely different from today.
 
[194 | 365 – Changing Conditions – The family wade in the water as surfies watch the impact of the large swell and high tide]

186 | 365 Kids Play

Not many parents slide down slides or swing on swings or spin on spinny things at the park.
 
Most parents behave like old people. Most of the time we do as well. But when we swing or slide or spin with the kids, they get a kick while all the people we don’t know smile and wish they could do the same.
 
[186 | 365 – Kids play – Karina has a slide with Talia]

185 | 365 Balloons over Waikato

It’s interesting how sometimes the desire to capture a moment on camera, causes me to miss the moment in its essence.
 
Like trying to take a good photo of balloons and missing the opportunity to look up and take in beauty of the day, the sounds, the fun and the sights.
 
Missing the moment.

I think in many ways, we do that often.

[185 | 365 ‘Balloons Over Waikato’ - Early morning and late night at the Balloons]

179 | 365 - Hamilton 400 start line

“Vibrant, diverse and thriving - Hamilton combines all the vigour and energy of a bustling city with a relaxed, easy lifestyle.” … Well at least that’s how the Hamilton City Council website describes it.

But wait there’s more… “From the majestic Waikato River to the spectacular Hamilton Gardens to lakes, walkways and golf courses - Hamilton provides the perfect environment for leisure.”

A perfect environment for leisure, are you kidding me? A walk in the park, is just not the same as slow walks down sun clad golden beaches. I’m a Tauranga boy at heart, there is no escaping it.
 
Never fear, V8’s are coming. The city is being turned into a racetrack for the annual Hamilton 400 street race.
 
[179 | 365 – Hamilton 400 start line – This is a shot I took as I drove down Mill Street]

169 | 365 Candle in the Dark

As a teenager lighting and sound were my thing and I can remember attending a course with a renowned lighting designer for the performing arts, whose name alludes me.
 
At one point during the course we had to create mood for a tent scene on the stage using lighting effects and one single candle.
 
Having that one candle on the stage made the design difficult to say the least. In a pitch black theatre, where you literally can’t see your hand if it is an inch from your face, a candle is exceptionally bright. The light it generates can’t easily be softened or turned down. People sitting in close proximity of the candle were illuminated by its presence alone.
 
20 plus years on, I can still remember a lot that I learnt on that course, about how the eye works, about how we see black and white in the moonlight, about creative license, and about how bright a single candle can be.
 
Every now and then you meet people who are like candles in the dark. Every now and then I meet someone whose flame burns so brightly in the dark patches of this world that it lights up everyone around them.
 
If one small flame can make a difference, maybe I can as well.
 
 

160 | 365 Balance

10 years ago today a great challenge was before me. On one hand I was compelled to care for my wife in labour with our first child. On the other hand was my desire to watch Team New Zealand defend the America’s cup. Trust me, balancing the two, while at a hospital is very difficult.
 
Today that baby girl is 10 and she too is balancing. Only her balance is physical on an imitation Rip-stick. I tried it out tonight. Trust me, balancing on two wheels is very difficult, particularly for an old guy like me.
 
Yesterday I was speaking to a person who used the term “work-life balance”. It’s a fascinating term. Work-life balance almost implies that you work and then you have a life. Life is far more complex than just work or life. Sports, family, children, finances, churches, work, friends, exercise, relaxing, entertainment, hobbies and the list goes on.
 
For me there is a continual struggle to balance all of the facets of life. Not just work and everything else. Maybe, we have the wrong term. What if instead of teaching people to have work-life balance, maybe we need to teach people to have “whole-life balance”.
 
Whole life balance I suspect is harder than balancing a wife in labour and the Americas cup, or an old guy riding a rip-stick.
 
Whole life balance. Provocative?

159 | 365 - Bright Light

You know that experience you have when you first turn the light off and everything goes pitch black. Then slowly, over a period of time, your eyes adjust. This process is called night adaptation. It takes roughly 8 mins to half adapt to darkness and around 30 mins to get full night adaption.

Once our eyes are adjusted. We can walk around with very little light as though it was daylight. We get used to walking around in the dark, and the night feels very bright.

Suddenly someone flashes a bright white light towards our eyes for less than a second. In that second our night adaptation is destroy completely and it will take a further 30 mins to completely restore it. We start fumbling around in the darkness again, wishing it were really daylight.

I took this photo yesterday morning. The bright light is not the sun, it is a street lamp that illuminates small exposed patches in its vicinity, while still casting deep shadows into the darkness. Dawn is breaking in the background. Daylight is coming.

Here’s the point. How bright a light will I be to the people around me? Will I be a bright white light that has significant radical impact? Or will I be like the streetlight, an artificial light that illuminates small patches while leaving deep shadows?

156 | 365 - Running

“So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadow boxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what I should.” – Today I ran 5 km’s. It’s been a while and it was hard work. I had to keep setting small targets. I’ll run to this corner, and then I’ll run to these shops. All the while I had the end goal of completing the run in mind.
 
As I was running I was thinking about how hard work life can be. Paul talked metaphorically about running with purpose in every step. Sometimes the goals we are called to, seem so unattainable and so distant.
 
It is easier to give up.
 
To stop running.
 
It reminds me that I have to set small obtainable targets and run with purpose to each one. Then move to the next target with purpose.
 
This is how improvement comes, how perseverance comes.
 
Then we complete.
 
We finish.
 
We win!

148 | 365 - 'Roundabout of Life'

A roundabout. Have you ever been a passenger in car when they decide to just keep going around and around a roundabout? You fly past exit after exit and just end up in the same place. With each rotation you feel both fun and sickness.

A roundabout. That’s what life feels like sometimes. It feels like you work exceedingly hard on this one big project or problem and then end up right back where you started. Doing the same thing again and again.

And again.

There are exits for sure, opportunities to succeed, to love, to step out. Opportunities bring risk and danger, so most of the time we just stay on the roundabout of life, with this strange fun, sick feeling.

I’ve thought a lot about Carpe Diem in the last few weeks. ‘Seize the Day”. I’ve been trying to make something of relevance, of importance, happen every single day. It doesn’t matter how small it is, I make a change for the better. It’s hard, but it helps me feel like I am moving forward, not being stuck on the roundabout.

When we do something small each day, soon big things happen. And we look back on our days and see progress, not just more of the same.

I took this picture on my way home from a meeting at 10:30pm. I hadn’t taken a photo yet. But at least the day was NOT a roundabout day. It was a day of small steps.

And I've regretted it the rest of my life.

There she sat taking in the sights and sounds of the Pacific Ocean breaking against the sun soaked sand below her. A son or son-in-law, or just younger man who cared, had wheeled her to the top of the sand dunes where she admired the ocean in a way all of us have throughout our years.

My daughter and I approached from the beach, sand clinging to our feet, smiles locked to our faces.

As we walked past her we caught just the briefest part of woman's conversation. The slightest hint of a deeper conversation she was having with the younger man. A story was being discussed that was both sad and profound.

"I really wanted to go, but I was just that little bit tired, and I've regretted it the rest of my life," she said.

I heard no more than those words. I have no idea what she regretted, but she could have done it, was tired and now will regret it, possibly until she dies.

As I strolled away, I loved the way she said those words, and the words washed over me. I wondered what things will we choose not to do. Because we are tired or can't be bothered, or just because...

What things will we live to regret.

I hope that her words will echo into my life. I hope they will impact my relationships and my time.

"I really wanted to go, but I was just that little bit tired, and I've regretted it the rest of my life."

Tiny drops of energy...

I have often heard of a bucket or tank being used to describe energy in life.

At the bottom of the bucket are leaks, small drips that drain energy, reduce it.  If my bucket gets to empty, completely empty, then my passion dies, drip.

I stop enjoying life, drip.

Or worse, I become a DRIP.

If the bucket is full, I bounce around the world. On fire. With passion.

If life is like a bucket of energy, it would be good to know what builds into it. And what reduces it.

So I started to focus on reducing the leaks, patching them up, stopping the drain of energy. With hindsight I see that it doesn’t solve the problem at all. If my energy is all but gone, stopping the leaks just slows the process of turning into one giant drip.

Of course, what a drip I am! So I focus on filling my bucket. I start searching for a tap, or a fire hose. A quick refill.  Anything instant.

But it too is allusive.

Then today as I try to take pictures of water drops in the rain. I realise energy comes one drop at a time.

Drop,

Drop,

Drop.

Once you have more drops coming in, that drips leaking out, your bucket starts to fill, your energy rises.

I’m sorted now of course. Most lakes and rivers are filled one drop of water at a time, I just need to hunt for drops, not drips. I would prefer steady rain of course.

Then it hit me. As my energy drips away, as my bucket gets empty, I become more of a drip. Then, I can become a drip to other people. I start draining their energy.

I realised that I need drops of energy, so that I can give drops of energy.

And I need to give drops of energy, so that I can get drops of energy.

This week I resolve to go in search of drops of energy.

What will I be doing in 15 years time?

Interesting question isn’t it? I often struggle to know what I will be doing next week, and in moments of absolute brilliance, I might do some top level thought into next 3 – 5 years.

I’m skim reading a book called “Total Leadership” at the moment and one of its exercises is to write down what your life and leadership will amount to in 15 years.

15 years is a long way away.

In 15 years, I will have been married for 27 years!

In 15 years, my eldest daughter will be 24!

In 15 years, I don’t want to be doing the same things I am doing now.

In 15 years, I want to have made a significant impact on the world.

It is an interesting think about 15 years from now. I have never done it before, but I sense that it will help give perspective to the small issues I currently face.

Metaphorical mountains

I was chatting with friends this week about mountains

Metaphorical ones.

Those huge obstacles in front of us. Projects, struggles, illnesses, financial problems, relationship issues … things that seem too BIG to handle.

We were discussing about how we often cry out to God and ask him to pick them up and through them into the sea. To make them go away.

And yet we need to climb mountains. They are good for us and through them we learn heaps and are cultivated and grown.

The problem with mountains is often the obstacle in front of us, is the issue of the moment.

We forget about what the view from the top of the mountain will be like.

We forget the satisfaction that comes from making it to the top.

We forget that climbing mountains is worth it.

We just see the obstacle!

Maybe when we remember how good the mountain can be for us, we will stop asking for it to be taken away, be thankful for it.

Maybe we will then focus on the more important task of getting to the top.
 

Summer Reading.

Took a few books away with me to read while at the beach. As normal, took too many books with me. Will post a summary, maybe, once I have read them.

• The Appeal - John Grisham
• Constructing Artistic Integrity - Kim Barbour
• The End of Charity - Nic Frances
• Jesus wants to save Christians - Rob Bell & Don Golden
• Tipping Point - Malcom Gladwell
• Growing Great Girls - Ian & Mary Grant
• View from the Summit - Sir Edmond Hillary

Varying topics and reasons for reading. Will be interesting,

vividly live...

Death is more universal than life;
everyone dies but not everyone lives

- Alan Sachs

Mowing the lawns ... oh JOY!

One of my earliest childhood memories is chasing my father around the lawn with my toy lawn mower. Not surprisingly this wore off in my teens when I was forced to actually mow the lawns with a crappy old lawn mower that you had to start with an electric drill.

Nowadays I actually like mowing my lawns. (You will notice I said my lawns; I probably wouldn’t enjoy mowing your lawns.)

Mowing my lawns brings some form of escapism and satisfaction. I plug in my MP3 player, zone out and get an uninterrupted hour to myself.  The satisfaction comes from completion, the finished product, and it looks good.

Over the weekend I was mowing the lawns and Jayden woke up and decided he would take his plastic lawn mower and “help” me mow the lawns.

He starts by zig zagging all over the place, bouncing around like a rabbit on steroids. At first I think it is cute and it brings a smile to my face. After a while it becomes outright dangerous as he cuts in front of me and instigates lawn mower head on collisions.

My frustration starts to set in. Not because it is genuinely dangerous but because he interrupted my routine, my thoughts, MY time!

I start to get annoyed, and at that precise moment I miss the point of life.

Jayden was having fun, enjoying life while his old man was selfish, grumpy and annoyed. The five minutes extra it took to have fun with my son, was just 5 minutes I would spend on the couch later that day.

I was reminded that I need to be joyful. To delight in everything. In all things. To make my sons day. 

Joy, afterall, is something God wants us all to have.

Strangely, the times I have the least joy seem to be the times that I am self-centered and concerned more for my problems and myself. My needs become more important that the needs of my son or my family or my friends ... or ... people!

In order to live vividly we need to take every opportunity to experience joy.

So ... What if I focused less on myself and more on bringing joy to those around me? What would happen to me if I did this? Would I experience more or less joy?

Without you...

Without each individual drop of water there would be no puddles, no streams, no rivers, no ocean, no life.

You may feel as significant as a drop in the ocean, but without you we are nothing.

If I just had...

A friend of mine has a new toy. It is a Lama V4 remote controlled Helicopter. He is seriously addicted and now so I am I.

I wish I had known about these before Christmas. I mean if I had a Lema V4 my life I think would be all but complete. Seriously, what more could I want. Really?

It is interesting to me that so many of our wants revolve around “if”.

If I just had …

If only …

If …

I am drawn to these toys, the same way I can be drawn to many other things. It is almost as though I have fondness to whatever the “if” is. As though by not having this thing, I miss out. I am deprived of some great pleasure.

In reality of course by not having a Lama V4 I miss out on little (Or a lot depending on your world view). But I actually have everything I need.

What I am really trying to say is this: “If” can be a dangerous word.

Footnote: I did $65 dollars damage to his Lama the first time I flew it. I could have flown to Tauranga in a real plane for that price.

Disclaimer: Nothing in this post should be read to indicate that I will never buy a RC Helicopter. As I said I am now addicted and that may be the theme for another post.

Blinks and Sunglasses

It was a stunning day. 27 degrees, warm water and a gentle breeze flowing from the shore out to the deep blue Pacific Ocean. The location is Sonaisali Island Resort just 500m off the Fiji mainland.

Sitting on the shoreline the Hobbie Cat was geared up and in the offering. How could I resist? I donned the obligatory life jacket and haul the boat into the gentle swell.

In an instant, a blink if you will, I made the decision to wear my expensive prescription sunglasses on the boat. I mean the wind and sea state was such that there was simply no way I could capsize the boat.

So I push off, sheet in the Main and sail at a lazy almost meaningless pace off down past the resort. It is after all a holiday and even the wind seems to work on Fiji time.

Sometime and distance later round the boat downwind and prepare to jibe. It is at this point that I notice for the first time that the tiller extension has undergone some Fijian style refurbishment that has left it practically impossible to cross the boat with the extension in my grip. I grab the tiller bar and complete the job, the sheet in for a long slow broad reach.

I then lean out of the back of the boat to recover the tiller extension when Slip … Slop … Splash … my glasses fall into the now very murky water. I lurch out to grab them, then make a decision to fully commit to their recovery.

Moments later after diving into the water and trying to swim to the bottom with a lifejacket on. Yip. I quickly become aware that the glasses are lost at sea. I stand up and find the water is chest deep then turn to see the boat is slowly making its way seaward without me. Oh yeah, one of the first things I was taught about sailing. ALWAYS stay with the boat unless it sinks.

Now had the wind been any stronger the sail would have circum and flapped in the breeze. Not today. Just enough wind so I couldn’t dog paddle after it. Just enough wind so I couldn’t swim then stop for a break. I tried both and each time the boat sailed off.

I had to put in some serious swimming to finally catch the boat, round it into wind and pull my water logged body back on board. Heavier and darker!

Thus ended the first morning of my holiday and now here is the strange implication:

Sometimes we make blink decisions (deciding to wear my glasses); that lead to bigger decisions and commitments (going in after my glasses); that lead to a whole heap of extra work (swimming after the boat).

Sometimes our blinks are wrong!   

Too Much time thinking...

What is my Holy Discontent? What is it that I am placed on this planet to achieve? Not why do I exist; I know that, rather what I’m going to be known for.

I found myself asking questions like the ones above a couple of times in the last week. The first was at a funeral I attended last week. They lady who had died was a lovely lady and raised two great sons on her own after her husband died. They said she was caring and loving and kind and generous.

As I considered these things I was reminded again that they are attributes I really want to have. But, for me personally, they are not enough. I really want to make an impact on this world or more specifically this region. OK well maybe a significant dent.

The second time was on the flight to Melbourne. I listened to an audio book of Holy Discontent by Bill Hybels. In the book he asks what is it you bugs you the most? What really annoys you? What lights a fire in your belly that you can’t ignore? As I consider these things there are a few things I know a few things for sure.

I know it includes agoge, but that agoge is a means not an end.

I know that it is not about me.

I know that it is about people reaching their full potential, leadership I guess.

I know that my heart aches for justice and mercy and those in poverty.

I know even now my hard work is preparation for the cause.

I know I will give my time and money and energy.

I don’t know yet exactly how it all comes together, but I am also confident that it is a work in progress and in time it will be revealed. I think it has to do with showing, enabling and equipping people to make a difference without giving up their day jobs, but by doing more than just sending a cheque.

I had a moment.

It’s called a moment.

And it often only lasts an instant.

Its defined as “an indefinitely short period of time.”

a moment.

Recently I had a moment. A time where I sat down and thought about some of the things I want to try and fit into a week. Good things generally. Things that I know will make me, by my own high expectations, a better human.

A better leader. Dad. Husband. Friend. Things that will help me to impact the world I live in more positively.

Things like journaling; which for me is a blend of slowing down and spiritual growth.

Or exercise: which relieves stress, fills my lungs with fresh air and generally makes me more productive.

Or reading; which challenges my thinking, sharpens me, keeps me at the edge and ahead of my team.

Finally writing; I have this desire to learn to write creatively, passionately and evocatively.

Now what I realised in this moment was two things. Firstly each of these things takes between 3 and 4 hours a week to do them well. That’s 12 – 16 hours a week before I start work or spend time with family or fly planes or anything. No wonder I never fit it all in.

Secondly I realised that I have never really nailed down which of these I am really passionate about and built a strong resolve to do them. The result is that they all happen sporadically, just like this blog.

I know I need to resolve to change things, but I haven’t. If I am not careful another 6 months will pass before I have another … moment.

I hope not.

Day Light Savings

This is old news, but I didn't realise until my Flight manual had to be updated.

New Zealanders will soon be able to enjoy more summer days. The Government has decided to extend daylight saving another three weeks, to a 27-week period.

Daylight savings now starts in the last Saturday of Sep (used to be First Sunday of Oct), and ends on the first Sunday of April (used to be Third Sunday of Mar).

Cool. I think.

Catching up on blogging.

Its been awhile and I am catching up on reading other people blogs. I stumbled across this image which is amazing. Its a ship encountering the forces of nature. Have a look at the other two shots here.

Blogging from a cellphone

I (agoge) purchased 2 second hand imate k-jam phones off trademe this week.

V cool and now I can blog direct from my cellphone.

Don't get too excited not sure if it will lead to more frequent posts ...

Natures artwork

The sun was persistently making its way towards setting, casting long shadows that ducked and dived over lush green rolling hills that were intermingled with native bush. No artwork or picture can capture such beauty.

Just 30 minutes later, the sun had set and its intensity was made known by illuminating some high streaky strata cloud with beautiful reddish orangey bands of light. The cloud twisted and turned just a little to create an incredible image that only a few privileged people would enjoy that day. In minutes they would be gone and never reappear.

These images made me thankful for my life.

They were an incredible birthday present!

Nature, floods and awe!

One of my friend's parents could not get home the other day because of the flooding in the Far North and for some reason I had this urge to fly over the region and see it first hand. I love floods, they amaze me! If only I had my pilots licence and fine weather and spare time I am sure I would have done it - Yeah Right.

It is funny how we are often drawn to want to see natural disasters. I guess floods blow my mind for the same reasons that we are drawn to sit by rivers, stand on a wind blown rocks gazing out into the pacific ocean, look in marvel at the full moon or to sit on mountain tops and soak in the view.

I think in all of us, seeing the disaster or the view or feeling the wind reminds us that there is a force in the universe greater than us. That there are beautiful and awe-inspiring things in our life everyday that we take for granted.

For me it makes me feel human and reminds me, yet again, I don't spend enough time soaking in creation.

Aerobatic NZ airforce style!

Last week I saw video footage at the "Flawless Execution" seminar I attended, of the Blue Angels doing aerobatics in fighter jets at 900km per hour, 45 cm wing tip to wing tip. It was amazing.

This week I see in the NZ herald the below picture of the NZ airforce doing aerobatics in their training aircraft.

Not quite the same is it!

Is it a rock, a stone or a pebble?

When you look at this picture what do you see? What does it bring to mind?

I found this rock/stone/pebble while sitting on the sea wall at the Tauranga Marina the other day watching the world go by.

I wondered if the rock used to be a part of a bigger rock. I wondered if it was man made or how it was created. I wondered how old it was and what it weighs. I wondered what its composite materials were?

When you look at it what do you see?

Do you think I should try and sell it on Trade Me?

I post another day about what I thought after I wondered all these things. (Maybe)