andrewnicol.net

168 | 365 - Almost home

To have a home, a real home, a safe home, a loving home, is there any sweeter thing?
 
Home is a place, but not the building. Home is the people, the laughter, the sadness, the exciting and the mundane.
 
At home you are best known and best cared for.
 
And yet for many many people in New Zealand don’t have a home. They have a place they call home, a roof over their heads. But it is not a home, certainly not in the sweetest sense of the word.
 
I flew to Christchurch yesterday morning for meetings, was scheduled to get home at 8:30pm last night. By lunch time our meetings were done, and Tere graciously dropped me at the airport and I caught the last direct afternoon flight.
 
I was home for dinner, home to chat with my kids. I was tired as it has been a very busy last 7 days. But I was home.
 
There is no sweeter thing.
 
 
168 | 365 – This is a shot of the Q300 as we turn onto finals over the Waikato River to land home in Hamilton.

157 | 365: Friends

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is watching from a distance as your children develop friendships. We know that true friendship can craft our children, develop and enhance them. But we also know the wrong friends could have a long-term negative influence on them.
 
We would like to determine who our kids are friends with, but we know that they must learn those lessons themselves.
 
So we watch and coach. We listen as they describe hurts and share their joy as they discover true friends.
 
This is a picture of some of Kyla’s friends. We headed to Rotorua, for gondola and luge rides to celebrate her upcoming 10th birthday. Kyla and her friends were incredibly well behaved, had heaps of fun and enjoyed the day.
 
I am proud of Kyla. I am proud of the friends she is choosing. I am proud of how she connected with each of them yesterday.
 
So far so good. Long may it continue as we head towards her teenage years.

144 | 365 - 'Humidity'

144 | 365 - 'Humidity' - Heat Clouds soaking up the heat and water when we went for a walk as a family last night with humidity in high 90%. Last night was our warmest night this summer 20.7c.

Stomping on white grass

Yesterday was a picturesque day.

As I headed to Tauranga for work I had my kids in the car who were destined for a stay at my parents house.

We had some ice on the car before we left home but as we progressed east most fields and roadsides were covered with a brilliant crisp white frost.  The sun had yet to rise sufficiently above the Kaimai ranges to burn off the white ice and return the scene to lush green grass.

I had a reasons not to stop. Work, my mum was waiting, and it was cold.

But I stopped anyway.

Let the kids out of the car to stomp on the thick white frozen grass. The loved it, had ice on their shoes as they returned to the car and were invigorated by the fresh air. (just what my mum needed!)

In my journal this morning I rated the trip to Tauranga A1.

A1  A = Builds Energy;   1 = Very Productive

This week I have dedicated a couple of pages of my journal to tracking my days with the specific purpose of reviewing energy and productivity. In broad stokes I am giving activities ABC ratings for energy and 123 ratings for productivity.

I was thinking about why I would rate letting the kids out as very productive. After all it cost my 10 minutes and when compared to some other meetings I have had this week that I rate 3, unproductive, it is kind weird.

I realised that, for me, productivity is about production.

About producing.

                            But is not about producing something.

It is about producing me!

When I stop to let the kids stomp on white grass I am producing a father who values fun and living and adventure and the impromptu.

I produces a better me,
                                      therefore
                                                      I am productive!

Kids

A hundred years from now it will not matter
What your bank account was,
The sort of house you I lived in
Or the kind of car you drove
But the world may be different
Because you were important in the life of a child'

- Anon

Jayden on Bike

This is Jayden, my son. He is almost 2 and a real speed freak. I think he gets the dangerous thing from his mum :-)

The video doesn't really capture how fast he is going.

Where is my freedom of choice?

I passionately hate how two faced our country is becoming. The government claims to want to give people freedom, but only when it suits their self centred agendas.

People can now have a legal choice to buy sex for money or 18 year olds can buy alcohol or people enter into same sex marriages, but I cant choose to smack my kids. Please understand, I am not stating a view on the other things BUT my point is why, if people can have these choices, can't I have a legal choice to smack my kids?

The anti smacking bill was deferred on Wednesday night due to heavy debate. It will now not be back before parliament until after Easter (school holidays for our MP's is a good thing this time)

Here is the thing that annoys me the most about the bill. When it started off its purpose was to remove Section 59 of the crimes act. At the time Sue Bradford said we aren't trying to outlaw smacking, we are trying to stop people using it as an excuse to beat their kids. (There have been 2 examples of parents found not guilty as a result of using Section 59 as a defence)

Beating their kids it turns out in Sue's vocabulary means smacking. She now seems to use the words 'smack' and 'beating' interchangeably.

I wrote a submission for the original bill (which is a lot different to the current one). Here are a couple of key points

This bill will not in any way reduce child abuse. The people that abuse their children are often living on the other side of the law anyway, and will not, and do not give a damn about the bill. They will still abuse their children. ...

I long to be a great father to my children, and have a deep desire to see them grow up as law abiding citizens. I smack my children infrequently. They are generally sent to their room first, I then discuss the bad behaviour with them, and if it is significant and warranted they will get a smack on the hand or bottom with my hand. It is not damaging in any way, rather they learn quickly what is, and isn't acceptable behaviour in our society. I believe that this law will make that action illegal, will therefore make me a criminal, when all I have is the best interests of my children and our future society at heart.

I hate child abuse. This bill will not fix that! We must instead retrain our parents, in many cases first teaching them right from wrong and dealing to the social problems we have. Then, and only then, will child abuse reduce.

Please do not make ordinary parents like myself who long to raise great kids the criminals. I beg you.

Teamwork: Backyard Soccer

"We did it Kyla, we got a goal!" Talia hollers with excitement after she kicks the ball between the trampoline legs that have become the goal posts for our backyard soccer game.

Its kids verses Dad and there is a lesson in play for the girls. Its called Teamwork! Their tendency, their predisposition if you will, is to play as individuals, to both run around trying to get the ball off Dad and then each other, even though they are on the same team.

I explain to them that if Kyla comes to get the ball off me and Talia waits by the goal,they will get goals easier. Talia of course very offside but it is not a lesson in soccer rules. Now, because Dads are always really bad at soccer when playing with 5 and 7 year olds, Kyla easily manages to get the ball off me and kicks it to Talia. The distance of 3 metres is simply to enormous for me to cover in the 15 seconds it takes for Talia to line-up and score the goal which is met with shouts of pleasure from both girls. "Kyla and Talia 5 points, Daddy 1" they yell.

Anyway, I was thinking about grown up kids, like the kind I work with. Our tendency, our predisposition is to play as individuals. We often want to score the goal and have our turn and be in the limelight of success, rather than making sure that first and foremost the team wins!

Within our company team we have a number of smaller teams. Some of the teams function really well as... well teams. They pass their ball off to each other, which are off course the various aspects of their jobs. They don't really care who does what as long as the team gets the goal and the team wins!  Some other teams function more as individuals, they own just their part, don't pass the ball and continually try to just get goals themselves and often fail to keep up.

I guess it is no surprise which teams achieve the best results, have the most victories and generally win the most. It is of course the groups of people that realise they need each other and scoring a goal for the team is more important than getting a goal as an individual. They help each other out and have few lines drawn about who does what. They do what it takes to make sure the team wins.

Incidentally the winning teams, have heaps more fun, get a buzz out of winning and 'holler with excitement' when they get their goals.

Which 'team' would you rather be on?

Sailing on a race track

It was a beautiful day in Papamoa this morning and as with most stunning days I longed to sail, but today that seemed like just to much like hard work.

So I decided to con my brother Craig into going Blokarting . The first thing you noticed when you were walking to the race track was the silence. The same silence that you experience when you cut the motor on a yacht and move to sail power. It is incredible.

With the briefing aside we were ready to race. Team Craig with co-pilot Kyla on-board, and Team Andrew with co-pilot Talia. I'm not sure who won because we passed them more often but they did more laps. Figure that out if you please.

Kyla is convinced that they won and Talia thought it was boring so kicked back for a rest.

Anyway, in my mind it was worth the $15 for 15 minutes, although another 5 knots of breeze would have made it a heap more fun. Craig was to heavy so kept coming to a almost complete stop.

8 out of 10, will be 10 out of 10 when they can guarantee a good breeze.

A funny oxymoron

The camping ground that we are staying at as a strict no Alcohol policy. You CAN NOT bring alcohol onto the site.

So imagine my surpirse when the hand gel in the toilets is alcohol based. You would think you could get a different kind of hand gel.

Family Holiday

Today we (the Nicol family) started a traditional kiwi holiday at Papamoa.

OK, given the fact I am blogging from our caravan, maybe its not quite as traditional as kiwi holidays used to be.

9 years later!

In the last 9 years we have lived in 6 houses and just 2 cities. We have lived in Hamilton and the same house for almost 7 years now. I have had 3 cars (a Mondeo, a Falcon S/W and my Commodore VX) and Karina has had 3 cars (Civic, Laser and the Tractor). I have held down 6 jobs, with my longest the one I am in now. They were CourierPost Hamilton Ops Mgr, then CourierPost Wellington Branch Mgr, then CourierPost Central Regional Mgr, then CourierPost Nat Ops/Commerical Mgr, then ELG Group Regional Mgr, then Director/General Dogs Body at Agoge Limited.

Karina and I have stayed in Kaitaia, Whangarei, Auckland, Hamilton, Tauranga, Whitianga, Whangamata, Waihi Beach, Tauranga, Rotorua, Gisborne, Taupo, New Plymouth, Napier, Palmerston Nth, Masterton, Wellington, Nelson, Christchurch, Fox Glacier, Queenstown, Ashburton, Kaikoura, Port Douglas (Aust) and Rarotonga (Cook Islands).

In the last nine years, we have had 3 children, Kyla, Talia and Jayden.

Nine years ago today, Alf started the day without broken ribs, and I started the day single. Nine years ago today I ended the day married to my wife Karina. On reflection we have done heaps and seen heaps and settled heaps. It is a blessing to have the memories and to have had the experiences I have had, with an awesome and caring and compassionate and forgiving and loving women and wife.

Thanks Karina for putting up with me for 9 years!!

My Kids

I just needed to say that I love my kids so deeply. I don’t talk about them like that very often.

Kyla has the same love language was me. She loves to be held and cuddled. Last night I was lying on the couch, and she comes and lies on top of me. She does it all the time, things like that, will hold my hand when she is the passenger seat of my car, or have a cuddle with me everyday. Talia is not interested in that stuff but is so intelligent it blows my mind. It amazes me how different kids are...

Kyla and I were chatting away and I was telling her again that she is “going to achieve amazing things when she gets older”. This time she talked about being a police officer, and giving me speeding tickets (I think she has my sense of humour as well). I don’t care what my kids do, as long as they learn to ‘be’, because then they will be amazing people and achieve incredible things.

Anyway the point. I love them soooo much, and this brings heaps of questions… How do I continue to love them in action? How can I continue to input into their lives so that they achieve amazing things when they are older?